I've had that scene from "Parenthood" where Rick Moranis' character is singing "Close To You" to his wife in classroom, stuck in my head all morning.
I guess my mind is just wondering whatever happened to Rick Mornais.
I love Welcome Back Week...No I wont accept your god but i will accept that hot dog
I just asked my hair stylist how many percocets she'd do my hair for.
Played "Which Couple Will Take Me Home Tonight" at the bar last night... I can now cross three-some off my bucket list
Hey, 'thunder cock' as proud as I am for you getting laid, could you put a muzzle on her? I have to be up at 5, thanks.
Don't let her tell you any different. She licked the balls of my hamster for that $100. It was a group bet. She won.
Be there soon... with munchies, blow jobs and shoulder rubs.
Things bear mace does not do: repel bears. Things bear mace does do: piss off bears, give bystanders asthma attacks. Lesson learned
why does CNN give a flying $@*# about the royal baby so, so much?
i hope they name him Joffrey
Saw a girl on a walk of shame bend down and look in a pizza box by a trash can to see if there was still a slice left. That's when you know
I told the border patrol officer she was smuggling drugs in her ass. I doubt she cheats on me again.
Wow you are like a taller more attractive sex Yoda.
She's the other freshman on this drunken voyage
you poured beer in your mouth so you could be a beer pong cup for her to drink out of/make out with
Did it work?
Just a typical Friday. Dinner, drinks, doing lines with a member of Congress
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