4:33 am: Sleep on left side of my bed. T-shirts are second drawer on left side, boxers top right. I don't wake up when lights are on so feel free in my room..
It was like a Michael Bay sized explosion located in my pussy.
There is a keg full of gin. THERE SHOULD NEVER EVER BE A KEG FULL OF GIN.
Woke up this morning with a note saying "great sex, see you never". Why can't I meet more women like her?
Just woke up. Need to shower and fuck. Be there when I'm done disappointing. Should be 30.
It's tuesday, which means cocktails followed by cocktales.
I found her sleepin on the side of the house in the rocks. so i woke her up and yelled at her and she would only come inside if i let her sleep in the bathroom.
Just sucked a bong hit straight from my girlfriends mouth & pretended I was a Dementor. Life just 87% more like HP.
Do drug dealers work on Memorial Day?
New drinking game: Drink while you Drink. I'll explain the rules when I see you, needless to say, it's not difficult. Unless you enjoy sobriety, humanity and life. Bestest.
Never go with a hippy to a second location. I fucking hate Xanax.
Another beautiful Sunday, another beautiful day the stick is not positive. Amen.
I didn't rip your fishnets, WE ripped your fishnets.
Also I'd apologize for texting you flipping my shit about the science of hair growth while I was shrooming last night but we know each other better than that
Last night I made out with two lesbians while dancing with another girl. I'm pretty sure it wasn't even real life.
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