When my kids ask how I lost my virginity Im going to have to tell them of a mythical thing called "Myspace" and how strangers could lure you into their "den of love" thanks to clever quotes and graphics
New. Vanessa hudgens nude pics
That text made me feel like i signed up for some awesome celeb nude pic reminder
Also, on a completely related note, just came up with an awesome business plan. You in?
I don't remember much but I know I looked hot.
trying to line up a DD for St Pats Day. i guarantee i will put out. or puke and pass out. really its 50/50 at this point.
Despite fighting the urge to vomit throughout the whole thing, I think that interview went really well!
Apparently there was a point in the night that they literally thought he was dead, ass naked on the floor. That bad.
I keep telling myself last night was not real, not real, not real. Then I remember I can't move. This hangover is too fucking real.
I just burped jalapeños and cum. That was the most disgusting thing ever.
But in defense of this shit summer we've had, I totally perfected my shotgunning skills. I have achieved my summer goal.
Well he has a golden retriever set as his background so there's no way he was filming us having sex
I just had a sex dream about orange juice, so there's that.
Woke up with a padlock locked onto my ear gauge and the first of many sticky note clues on my chest leading to the key.
Nothing screams "crazy cat lady" like a nursery in your house when you're over 30, single and have no kids.
Was not aware that standing loudly up off the couch and loudly, drunkenly slurring "I'M EIGHTEEN NOW BITCHES" counted as a primitive mating call.
You don't know happiness until you've got to smoke weed inside taco bell and then eat all you want for free
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