even a "fuck you" would be nice at this point.
I feel uncomfortable when she gargles my jizz.
He could list all of the presidents! Every one, and in order!! I was so impressed the least I could do was give him a blow job.
Ah, yes. Making our founding fathers proud.
If it makes you feel any better, i gave her boyfriend a blowjob last week.
We talked him into tasing himself.
So the crazy cock blocking bitch sent her a picture of her boobs using MY phone and said: he's busy at the moment
Wait I'm all alone with a guy and his turtle
I know, it's just the worst. Also, security almost took the burrito I brought for lunch. I thought I was going to have to pull a Liz Lemon and eat the whole thing before I could go through.
So much Jack, so little girl.
somehow a ride to walgreens turned into a threesome.
I went in for a high five.. He went in for a kiss.. Today is a good day
I just want a simple guy who likes cats, tattoos, and doing coke off my tits.
After I asked for my 6th Gin & Tonic, the look on the flight attendant's face started to make me feel bad about myself.
So high I legit spent 20mins in the shower just holding my tits cuz they feel bigger than normal.
Can you please come in my room and pour water in my mouth? Too hungover to move. btw who is this guy in my bed? Can't see his face. Cute?
Randomize