1. Mark my dj buddy and I spent $1000 on bottles last night
2. We were casually offered narcotics while walking down the street
3. I will still be awake when you start school tmw, cause there's no last call
So if any tells you miami is the same as the rest of america, there are just lying to you
What are you drinking?
Shitty Coors light. OM NOM NOM TASTES LIKE HIGH SCHOOL
As soon as I saw the video camera and red light on, I started rolling my eyes when he would put it in me and telling him maybe his dick was too small cause I didn't feel anything...trust me that tape is going nowhere
Just did lines off a tackle box. Love Montana.
Normal vaginal pH: 3.8 to 4.5. Of course it tastes like a 9-volt. I could run a potato clock on that thing.
also, i am in no position to judge as my life choices today went along the lines of "YAY VODKA". for breakfast.
A man bought two 40's from me, then asked if I had duct tape. How do people over 50 know about Edward 40hands? It was very weird.
she broke up with me the week she got divorced. maybe I should grab a beer with her ex
I just got fingered in the Win-Co parking lot for pills. How's your meltdown going?
He started saying the pledge of allegiance so his boner would go down. Merica.
YOU DESERVE A GUY WITH A NORMAL DICK DONT SETTLE FOR ANYTHING LESS
I need to be her Aladdin, and show her the world. The sex world.
Keep in mind this was 2012... YOLO was a very new concept.
If hypothetically I needed to puke on the bus... how would I go about doing this.
Not sure what you smoked, but you put raw bacon on the lazy Susan and spent 45 minutes looking at it and mumbling Meat Spin
Randomize
