similar to the time we made up the game of screaming at the top of our lungs any time a guy any of us slept with walked into the party. that went over SO well.
I just foul balled at work. I had taken off my coat too… had to go to the sink wash my hands then go back to the stall and pick up my coat. I hope the guy shitting in the stall next to me didn’t figure out what happened.
You act like I'm friends with her or something. I only screw her boyfriend!
Oh yeah.
I can't be the first person ever who had to explain why her bottle of orange juice had a picture of a screwdriver drawn on it
Yeah, he said he was getting "welcome back Winnipeg Jets drunk" then puked on his jersey.
I just broke a sweat shaving my own vagina. Something has got to change.
New drinking game. Every time Romney and Santorum switch leads, take a shot.
....this is what your political science major is getting you?
Tonight just try not to threaten to pee on the hot guys buying us drinks....please..
im actually so stoned and hungover i feel like a bag of jello stuffed into a human shape
Do you think we could brew coffee with beer? I'm thinking a hazelnut Guinnesspresso can only end with pure awesome.
Starting the day with sex, coffee and productivity are what the founding fathers intended
She's currently doing somersaults across the kitchen floor without underwear on. We may not make it to the bar.
Dude, fate has brought her to your penis.
A world without bacon flavored condoms is not one I want to live in.
What?? I could've slept with an ordained minister!
Randomize
