found out what b.m.t stands for.
what did you think?
bread, meat, tomatoes, but then i realized that could be practically any sub.
Sometimes I think its so cool that a dick that has been inside kate moss has also been inside me. So exciting.
I'm drinking while my friends build sand castles, now I know how my dad used to feel
I'm pretty sure he jizzed in his pants, and no it wasn't even half as funny as that song.
they're scary. like turkeys that ate nuclear fucking steroids.
I feel like if I were on Intervention, I would have to be a season finale.
I don't care how high you are, you can't finger me while eating potato chips.
chimney cleaner pole that expands when button is pushed then pull out. Remember that. We have to patent it.
Who are you high with right now?
We started pregaming at 8. It's 11, and her only 11:11 wish is to be sober. It's hard to not love her.
Also I played a weird game of chicken in the ladies room at work between myself the person pooping 2 stalls over and a very determined maintenance man.
Things I Learned Tonight: I have no future in goat wrangling. Herding. Whatever you call the ridiculosity that just transpired.
Mom has wine in a to go cup. It's that kind of night.
He wanted to watch a Charlie Brown thanksgiving. But I was like, fuck that, I'm a grown up. So we watched jumanji and I sucked his dick.
But at least i made friends with the nice lesbian cop. She knew i was her kind when she had to confiscate my rainbow/pride rolling papers.
One day I'm going to get tired of waking up and wondering where the glow sticks on the floor came from.
Randomize
