I just saw grafitti that read "Mug The Fart Eater". Really, Memphis? That's all you've got?
He told me the hand job I gave him this morning was "lovely".
He just kept yelling "body massage machine go" at random intervals throughout the night
He pocket texted me while I was blowing him in the car...What are the odds?
Considering how often you blow him,high.
i woke up wearing her shoes. this night isn't going on my highlight reel
Its only fair we share our golden vaginas with the world. It would be selfish if we didn't.
They have chocolate covered tequila candy at work. This is not a drill. May be drunk by noon.
This teachers last name is pfister and she did the fisting motion to help explain how to pronounce her name. This class might be good
bartering with my concussed boyfriend to eat food with blowjobs
Need to spend sober time with him while fully clothed. I can't decide if he's a seriously amazing man or a complete fucking dickbag.
This is me not judging you for what a fine line you draw between the two.
I'm still working on figuring out my birthday blowjob schedule. I'd love to just have all three of them get in there but I get the feeling they wouldn't like that.
you were holding her above your head singing Circle of Life in what i assume was a Simba reference. then she smacked her head on a bar light and the bouncers kicked you out
I swear to god he thought my ass was a bag of wine last night.
her nickname was handjob. I knew what i was getting into.
I've had way too many dicks in my mouth the past two weeks. Ready to go back to school and be a doctor now
Randomize
