I was taking a piss and started puking. I pissed myself and made a mess in the bathroom. Passed out, then got up and went back out from 11pm to 5am.
I changed 4 diapers and slept horribly in our hot apt. Now, I'm at my inlaws house watching the Rangers get pummeled. Oh how our lives differ.
elementary school lunch room party. everyone brings their own lunch and can trade stuff. all juice is booze.
This is getting serious. I keep forgetting what's in my vagina.
I'm a terrible person. There are two guys speaking sign language on the metro platform and at first I thought they were drunk and doing a silly dance.
Free beer happened. I got hammered and aaron did his first keg stand. Then went all martha stewart on redecorating the bathroom. I remember being at walmart
What theme did he decide on for the bathroom?
Well as you know martha loves the northeast this time of year. I believe the theme was 'coney island' decorrated with hot dogs and macaroni
there was enough confetti in my bra to throw another NYE party
Being this Hungover on Easter has brought my closer to Jesus... I swear he had to feel shitty like this after coming back from the dead
did i paint my nails blue or do i need to make a trip to the ER?
I'm good. We walked you back to my apartment and you demanded to eat the sandwich I made for him
Well she just asked a sorority girl if she should fuck her floor mate so it's basically like the blind leading the blind
YOU DESERVE A GUY WITH A NORMAL DICK DONT SETTLE FOR ANYTHING LESS
Not sure what happened last night, but I woke up without a shirt on and cereal glued to my boobs...
I got my gum stuck on his balls.
i'm really sorry, but i'm just not sober enough to make good decisions.
That has got to be a joke. No human eats that much grass and lives to tell the tale.
Randomize
