so he just left - touched my cheek like he was gona kiss me and then gave me a fist bump?
Just realized after we're done pre-gaming for St. Patricks Day, we have March Madness, the first day of spring, and Easter to pre-game for. March is a great month.
just woke up in the hotel with gummi bears all around me and someone took the tv
we took the tv and as for the gummi bears don't eat them you put em in her vagina
APPARENTLY giving your friend one of your shoes so that you avoid the no shoes no service rule makes you drunk...
i think that after ALREADY drinking that much, the tube shots may have been a bad idea.. i mean afterall, i did wake up and find my cell phone IN the bonfire the next morning.
You can duct tape yourself to me so we dont lose you and you dont have to celebrate your birthday alone
Note to self: the judgement that occurs when unrolling your last 5 which was used to snort drugs the night before, to pay for alcohol before noon on a Monday is worth just sucking it up and taking an overdraft fee.
Wait a min, you had drugs last night?!
Walk back down Church toward Mass Ave. Take a right and head for the guy in a kilt on top of the really tall unicycle. C u soon!
From what I can tell at a cursory glance, it seems that last night I fell asleep on string cheese and it melted into my bra.
eating jello out of the cup. with my face. while on the toilet. i am at my lowest.
As soon as he came we went to Dairy Queen. That drive through lady was very condescending about our "just fucked" ice cream.
your life is not complete until you watch a gaggle of murderous clowns dance to gangnam style.
also, what is the correct term for a shit ton of clowns?
I texted him in the morning wishing him a day as spectacular as his dick was.
I give all credit to my lucky thong, there's never a time I haven't gotten laid while wearing it
I think I was just motorboated by a 4-year old girl.
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