Exactly. All of us sinners go to hell and get nothing while all of the goody two shoes get to go to heaven where its all pink floyd, lasers, and pot.
Don't feel too badly. Until twenty minutes ago my paper was a heading and a pizza order.
i just used my scantron for my final to make paper shotglasses. i'd say i passed in flying colors.
rather than putting your name in guys phones, you just texted 90999 to donate $10 to Haiti and then gave it back to them
Just got the orientation leader spot. For the first two days, I will be one of the best looking guys on campus. The freshman girls will be so disappointed they settled for me when everyone else comes back.
I owe you 20 bucks. My blood work did show liver damage.
the taxi driver actually pulled over to let us moon a house full of people
Its like every time I go out with you, it always involves Serbian chicks and taco bell and you always manage to get both all over my bed.
My sister hid me from my parents, brought me a bloody mary, and told my girlfriend I was out with my dad. For 13, I got to say she's working out pretty good.
Why yes. I did get laid looking like that. My sheets look like there was a clown orgy
IF THE GUY WHO I AM BORROWING OUR CAR FROM FINDS ONE CONDOM OR JIZZ STAIN IN THIS CAR HE IS GOING TO CASTRATE MY ASS. SERIOUSLY, DON'T FUCK IN THE CAR.
So... How much of our rent is drug money?
How the fuck do you get a noise complaint filed against you at 9:30am on a fucking Tuesday?
ill drive you to the airport today if we can have sex first
i left yesterday
ill pick you up from the airport on sunday if we can have sex after
Like sorry your dick won’t suck itself?
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