Theres a random in my bed. Omg but at least he's a law student?
i guess. but if i can salvage this and still somehow see you naked i feel like that's a win
I read the police report. You asked the cop if you could use his in-car computer to update your facebook. No way you get out of a DUI.
He's doing the single life. He recently finished like a 3 year relationship. You can't date him.
But I don't want to date him. I just want to look at him. Naked. And in my bed.
I know eh? If a man wants to pay 7 bucks to see some boobies he should be allowed to do so in peace.
This is the way my sobriety ends: Not with a bang, but with a whimper.
blah blah blah they called me an alcoholic because I threw my beer at a Jesus freak. it was for the best
Take advantage man but know that every anal bead u drop inside her will make her love u 2% more. It's science
So it turns out rose was the bear hunting girl. Fuck my life
None of those words made sense together.
you have failed as an in class drinking partner.
all I'm saying is that my epic blow jobs have made grown professional football players cry in ecstasy
I'm at the level of despair that only Panda Express can fix
I almost got an A in organic chem but started hallucinating during the final so I got a C
Oh goddamn. That a super downer Tuesday reality right there. Just hit me with the cold, hard, nasty facts.
So this is what bad decisions tastes like...
Randomize