im watching shaqs comedy special. this is how i know im not sober.
we couldnt tell if he was gay so we started working glee quotes into the conversation to see if he noticed.
Within 5 minutes of max walking in his pants were off and he was wearing my snow goggles as underwear.
When I opened my laptop there was a half eaten little debbie oatmeal cream pie inside.
They're pole dancing on a handicap sign post.
Ugh. This is the type of hangover that all other hangovers want to grow up to be.
I'm all about sex. But even I know there will be a time to retire my junk. And that will be my 40th birthday, or whenever I'm hideous
Time flies when you're blacked out in a lake
Walking in on a gay threesome, with a girl in the corner watching and taking vid is a reason to not only knock, but to never go to Savannah.
These are all good points. But, I think your under estimating what it's like to be held upside down for a standing 69
This is what my life has come to. Like, I may or may not have just stolen pizza from the guy I just hooked up with's fridge when I left...
guys with girlfriends don't have a leg to stand on when they get mad at you for fucking other guys
I achieved the level of drunk I wanted even with the length of dress I was in..
I just got woken up by that guy wearing a Krispy Kreme hat giving out donuts
How are you and your magical vagina doing today?
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