Ask him about the girl he took home Saturday night. I swear she voted for Kennedy.
Disregard any previous text from the past 12 hours. Except for the one about scoring a strike while drunk bowling. Remember that one.
This guy just showed us his webbed feet to prove that his son was actually his son
basically theres shrimp everywhere. splattered on the walls, in the carpet, its bad. ohh theyre never gonna get the smell out.
It's like he's trying to get head in every car except his.
If you are drunk already, then as your friend I am advising you to stop writing on your dads Facebook wall
Lol i have proven this trip that I can meet a chick and fuck her within 72 hours no matter where she lives
Dude, he threw a pool chair off of an 8 story building. It was a successful night I'd say.
So good!! I became real good friends with an adorable black lesbian couple from Baltimore and a man in a diaper.
My signature move is making guys wonder why they bothered in the first place
HE TALKS ABOUT HIS DICK IN THIRD PERSON ABORT MISSION ABORT FUCKING MISSION
We can't shop at Hobby Lobby anymore. They don't like Plan B which basically runs through our veins.
Pennsylvania now holds the distinct honor of being the third state I've crapped my pants in.
I don't know why, but whenever I shave my balls I feel more aerodynamic.
Apologies that our conversations always turn to butt sex or penis size. I thought we out grew that in our 20's.
Randomize