he's afraid if he sleeps with me i'll go all lavender brown on him
Had sex with the ex last night. Regretting to begin in 5, 4, 3, 2, 1... WHYYYYYYYYYY!
He is like that thing on the menu you would eat because nothing else looks remotely edible.
The only birthday messages I got from men were from my 8th grade boyfriend and the bouncer at our bar. I think I'm doing something wrong in life.
well he's currently spooning the coffee table
Is it creepy to message a girl and say you had me at stocked liquor cabinet?
REALLY should have cleaned under my bed before I had my parents come help me pack...things my parents just found: several condoms and a bottle of lube. My mom when she found a condom: "ooo ribbed. Laura's a lucky girl"
I really just want to eat 20 mcnuggets and slap everyone with the box when I'm done.
Plus it's a good way to scope out guys. Have them fight for you, like real males do in nature.
Is it possible to hurt your vagina working out, because I think my Dumbass accomplished that... 😯😟😒😓
Do I even want to know?
I'm drunk still and I cried and now I'm watching Whitney Houston singing the national anthem and I'm crying more
THERES A BEAVER CHASING ME, ANGRY BEAVERS IS FUCKING REAL DUDE
I'm not sure if 14 year old me would be disappointed or proud that I fucked him behind her middle school??
Tonights mission: get trashed, smoke a bowl on top of the silo, get some dick. Not necessarily in that order.
I dont know which is weirder.. the fact that i just watched our mom kick ass at beer pong and ride the pole like a true fire girl or the fact that ive never felt closer to her in my life.
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