Erin Andrews shaves. She also likes to check out her ass in the mirror. Of course if I had an ass like that I'd be checking it out in the mirror too.
she takes plan B like it's going out of style
i cant text you anymore tonight, God gave me two hands for two cups
dizzyuy bat. 3.453 lkos. hoit sx, now im single. blackouteed
Can you give me a hickey quick? Im going to a white trash themed party. Completely serious
Most awkward car ride ever. Kid in the front seat was bawling, 2 in the backseat were ready to fight, and I was giving the last kid a handie. This needs to stop happening to us.
You know how most people would take your keys when they don't want you to leave a party? Those 2 girls aren't most people. They took my pants instead.
So my mom wants me to come swim with dolphins with my little sisters in October. I'm not sure how to tell her I saw a "when dolphins attack" special when I was rolling and am now terrified of them.
Good. We don't answer calls at dick thirty.
My 7 yo sister is trying to talk my mom into buying her a strawberry margarita. Happy Cinco de Mayo.
Just peed off a cliff while playing white snake on my phone. Close enough?
So basically he is jobless, a potential serial killer, and has poor taste in music? We simply don't have time for that.
I was gonna make a strong case for you to be my midnight kiss, but poptarts sound good too
So, random question. How much should you tip a Lyft driver when you realized you've fucked his sister? Asking for a friend.
That's nice of you to be concerned, but I'm pretty confident I'll marry someone 30 years older than me, ride out being the trophy wife for 10 or 15 years, then live large!
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