All I want to do is go home, strip down to my pants, get in the shower and pee down my leg
Fyi I let myself into your place, I'm wearing some of your clothes in your bed. Come take them off
dude you have to find out what a girl's name is before you sleep with her. if her name is debbie she's boring, if her name is lauren she's an overrated hoebag, if her name is meagan she gived bad head.
the vast amounts of cleavage i'm sporting to my final says "no, I didn't study but don't worry I've got something lined up for when I don't graduate".
I passed out leaning next to a light pole. When the cop woke me up at 4 AM, I told him I was a block away from the apt, just had to stop to make a puke pit stop.
you were sitting on your bed looking out the window, rocking back and forth naked, saying how peaceful it looked outside
It's been decided..lingerie is an investment. You get free breakfast and cab rides out of it.
and on the second day it was tequilla tuesday. and the lord saw it was good.
I spent most of the night convinced it was my birthday. But I was probably wrong, it can't be January, can it? I'm 90% sure its not. But maybe. The days have got shorter. Is this what unemployment feels like to everyone?
I had this image of some guy in a taco truck down by the IMA accosting you for a peep show.
Last night did I take a piece of pizza out of your hand and then proceed to eat it?
Twice...
I saw it and almost just was like "Ice breaker: your penis is massive" but I didn't.
fuck you and your stupid hot as hell face
Quick, I need a picture of your dick. Don't ask questions, just show me your genitals.
FINE I guess I'll just drink regular coke like a PLEBIAN.
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