I hate girls that dress up to come to planned parenthood. I just want to be like we are all in the same boat here, we know your slutty. Its OK.
We just took shots out of seashells. Welcome spring break 10.
Lost is over, my longest committed relationship is coming to an end.
i wrote her a fucking poem. i better get laid for that
and then she judged me for using my bra as a potholder. hard times my friend, welcome to college.
We've completely outdone ourselves. We packaged a collective total of six grams of pot and salvia into little bowl-sized tinfoil capsules. It's totally impossible to tell which is which without comparing, every Friday from now on we pick one out and see what the fuck happens
Maybe your new years resolution should be not to fuck in Sears bathroom anymore.
I'm eating crumbled blue cheese out of Tubbaware. My life is nothing.
My roommate just walked in with a case of beer locked himself in his room and told us he was going to masturbate his feelings away...
What kind of life do I lead that no one is surprised by the fact that I was watching porn at work with the hot 37 year old?
I don't give a fuck that he's gay and keeps hitting on me. Free cocaine is free cocaine bro
We had sex and then stood naked in his living room eating zucchini bread.
you grabbed the breathalyzer at dinner, blew a 0.20 and told the waitress you'd eat her ass
he stopped mid makeout and said "can I pray for you?"
He's got a big dick, a steady job and tells me I'm pretty. There is litterally nothing else I look for I a guy.
Randomize
