Where did you get a picture of my penis
speaking of unleashing monsters, we need to get condoms
Is it weird that we showed each other our pussy's and pointed out the good and bad things about each others??
My mom just used the words "ice cunt". It may be an interesting day afterall.
You were passed out on the chair and when I asked you if you were okay you looked up and said "I'm fine, I was just pretending for a picture" then passed out again.
Every time you come over you bleed on everything. I'm not calling Verizon again asking if blood is considered water damage.
The TA leading my study session just said "now get outta here. I need to get drunk before class"
thought the power was flickering out but it turns out im just blinking
Breathalizer & tazer party did not go as casually as expected.
This guy at the airport was telling me 3/4 dudes in his group got rufied at some strip club. One guy woke up in the hospital, another found himself in a random parking garage, the other got back to the room and they all shit their pants. Go Vegas.
There is a stockpile of mangos and vodka in my backyard and I'm at least 90% sure you had something to do with it.
Pretty sure my first birthday present will be a pic of an 18-year-old's cock. And I am OK with that
sorry for the random call. He stopped mid-sex because he wanted confirmation that I was really a reverend.
HE IS. YOU SHOULD TOUCH HIS BACK.
IT IS A COURTSHIP RITUAL.
THE MUTUAL BUTT TOUCH IS SACRED.
For future reference: bathtub full of cheeseburgers = win.
Randomize
