someone just puked in the library. they put up caution tape. i totally underestimated finals week.
she got to the point every few minutes she checked to see if her boobs were still there.
Today as a vday present for myself I am walking in between any couples I see on campus.
he told me not to treat him like a child and then started peeing off the trampoline
I got kicked out of the bar for suggesting that the bartender drop her tits into my Redbull instead of the usual liquor
What part of drinking with my mom makes you think i'd get naked
All of it
I gave him a bunch of ideas to use to spice up their sex life. Say what you will, I am the best 'other' woman ever!
I'm drunk in a place called Lick-A-Chick. PS. It's not a lesbian hot spot, they sell chicken.
Do you ever just feel like you can feel hormones radiating from your uterus?
he couldn't get a boner so he asked me to sing you shook me all night long to his penis. I think it was weirder that it actually worked
He called me Kitten either just because or he figured out my old s&m life. Either way huge turn on.
You peed all over his floor and had a bottle popped in your ass when you passed out. Don't tell me I'm "still living in my college days"
So I'm at early voting and the group of ladies behind me is talking about voting no on 2 and my gummy is kicking in, thank lawd
Nah, I was done when the Big Pun lookalike began to sob and tell me I looked like his ex...
Fuck the walk of shame. I make this shit glorious.
The fact that you arent wearing shoes probably just adds to the classiness
Condom wrapper stuck to my shirt ups the anty
Randomize
