Is it a little weird that I have a ridiculous urge to have sex while the theme song to the Pirates of the Carrbibbean blares in the background?
Apparently last night I sat at the bar with an upside down sharpie lightning bolt on my forehead, yelling "It's Harry Potter's birthday! Let me be on the qudditch team!" And I kept calling the bartender Dobby. There are videos.
Our professor just said "No class today, go get stoned." A guy seriously walked over and hugged him.
no sex. but he left me weed, so almost as good.
Your lack of a response has proven you've clearly forgotten how crazy I am.
Jello bowls to the fucking face, that or ramen spiked with liq. Those are the only options in this house.
Not only is he in the circus, the man survived a near death experience and has an accent. She might as well have found a unicorn. This shit just doesn't happen in real life. Where did she meet this magical creature?
NoShamevember. You game?
I feel like I'm eight miles away and my brain is just now getting here. You got a lot of fucking catching up to do.
Is it completely inappropriate to base my morning after pill purchase on if they sell coffee or not?
Beyoncé wouldn't let anything bad happen here
Nothing says "single girl" quite like Pinot Grigio and canned ravioli at 11:30 pm....
My night has consisted of googling cat penises and creating a Tinder profile.
I paid for lunch, then he made a bunch of holes in my wall and destroyed my bathroom.
Found someone cuddling with my Uggs this morning. Guess the hundred pillows laying next to him weren't good enough.
Randomize
