Worst sexual experience IN MY LIFE. And now i know why it makes jesus cry.
Just saw actual Chinese people doing a Chinese firedrill. Good day.
You weren't lying about those ceramics students giving the best hand jobs.
In retrospect, getting to second base BEFORE anal wouldve been a good idea
i've never smoked before...when you said wake and bake i thought you meant like a funeral bbq or something
You disinfected one of his friends, buttered the jeans of the other one. And you poured every liquid you could reach on the floor, including cooking oil and green tea. It wasnt a great first impression
Sober Sundays just aren't working out anymore.
I don't care if he's straight, his cock will be in my mouth by midnight. Like a closeted Cinderella.
I would ask what did you do but I feel like who did you do is probably more appropriate
It was darkish out, I was shit faced, and they should have marked the electric fence a little more clearly. The entire wedding reception saw me run full force into it
My brain is like scrambled eggs. If scrambled eggs were trying to escape out of my skull through my forehead.
Just test drove the kilt for Justin's wedding. NEVER. WEARING. PANTS. AGAIN.
I miss my bedroom and my bed and being able to spray myself with my choice of 15 different perfumes so I don't have to wake up to the smell of my past sins
I love how u said nothing about the sidewalk sex but refused shower sex
How are they?
Amazing! These new boobs are going to break blouse buttons and wedding vows!
Randomize