OMg patrick swayze is the sexuest man he is killing me I'm gonna get dehydrated if I don't stop looking at him
ahhh, you guys look like a cute little family in the cop car!
dude, your ex-bf is on match.com
details on that.
well, his profile doesn't say anything about herpes.
walkin home..,.jsut saw the cheshire cat
watch out for the queen of hearts
fuucck i forgot ab her
I'm buying a pregnancy test with my lunch money. Classy.
I just asked my hair stylist how many percocets she'd do my hair for.
We're gonna have the chick that teaches kindergarteners to fold origami roll the joints.
I just realized I'm the burger in your burger and steak anology. Very disconcerting.
We couldve played the bring a random boy to lunch game but i made him go home
I got kicked out of the men's bathroom at the diner last night because i was straddling the sink attempting to pee with pants on. Beat that.
I just sold my hat for three car bombs. I call that a win.
life lesson #151: dont let people go batshit crazy and stab you in the knee
i will live by this rule
There is a drunken, assless white chick here at this bar wearing a shirt that says "REAL WOMEN TWERK FOR JESUS". I have officially had it with our generation.
He's two decades older than you. Remember how you said you wish you lived in the 70s? HE DID.
Hey every now and then can you tell me you want to fuck me to boost my confidence? Thanks.
Randomize
