Do you think there's anyone left in this world that hasn't masturbated in a computer chair?
I want to be a jewelry store heckler. "Hey man, is she really worth it"
i have a food baby... i think its a boy...
I wish guys would just cum water 'cause you don't have to worry about being pregnant and it'd be like a squirt gun fight
I just took a shower and I feel like 20 pounds of sex just came off of me.
Hey do you want me to wrap up that Jack in the Box you left in my gutter
I wanna get freshman fucked up and do shady things on the last Friday of my youth.
I just want to hug my vagina but I can't!\nLike, I want to wrap my arms around it and say "I'm sorry"
I just took three of the most beautiful hits of my life. As elegant and smooth and delicate and graceful as figure skating
You kept ripping all your clothes off and saying, "Let me be free!"
you just have the mind of an innocent, non-tainted child.
YOU KNOW THAT'S BULLSHIT BECAUSE YOU'RE THE REASON IT'S BULLSHIT
I just want somebody to fondle my boobs while I read fanfiction. Is that too much to ask?
I'm not 100 percent on this, but I think I just shit a lump of cement. What the fuck happened last night?
I just ran into my psychology professor at Planned Parenthood she asked why I was there and I asked why she was there and it turns out we both had a scare.#bonding because of abortion.
He’s got a big dick and a big ego. This could be fun
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