ugh, i have officially sinned in all of my cute clothes. i can't even wear any of them without feeling regret.
pretty sure that I broke my nose during sexting. Life is grand.
her sex was completely horrible but her weed was great. imma ask her out again
Ill bet we could have atleast fucked a girl who fucked a guy who has fucked tara reid. That's a famous circle right?
Shots and making dong molds for my gf's friends. Typical Monday night activities.
Peeing off the roof of a motel lighting a cigar with matches and speaking fluent spanish with a chilen exchange student...how do iget into these situations?
He shoved his balls through an egg carton and showed us a picture. They were surprisingly egg-like.
There's a time and a place for everything. Except for getting wasted at a work event, puking in the parking lot, and sleeping in your car overnight.
I feel like that's something that he should've asked me over dinner..... instead of with his hand down my pants? maybe not
I decided taking Molly and seeing Birdman seemed like a wise life choice.
I don't know man. She said my cock made her promises my heart couldn't fulfill.
I need water and some morals
dude the last time we saw him was 2 nights ago when he was yelling that the trees were naked or some shit then he ran into the forest. I think its time for a search party
I'm eating dinner with his parents and my phone goes "MOVE BITCH GET OUT THE WAY!" Thanks.
She picked a quarter off the floor, kissed it "for luck" and won the $20,000 jackpot. She bought dinner and stayed sober to drive us home. This is a typical example of a visit with my sister.
Randomize