Potential corruption. He's 19.
Get them while they're young!
You never realize just how much you have to be thankful for until you almost shit yourself in a Target.
Turns out you can't chew it over with twix in real life
Dude I've never seen anyone get slapped that hard
im failing my bio class b/c he booty calls me wednesday nights at 6 like clockwork
Are you still goin to the xmas party?
Yaaaa why?
Jus making sure i will have nice people i know to put a blanket over me when i pass out in the field .
I think we should have realized the night was going to be nuts when it started with a bum dying in front of my house.
Listen. You seriously only live once... there aren't that many cinco de mayos left until someone knocks u up and u have to have a shotgun wedding. Man up.
Climbing out Mr. Friday night's bathroom window. He thinks I'm puking. Be on state st. with the getaway car and if you could bring me a shirt and some advil that'd be dandy.
So proud. See you in five. I've got coffee.
Do you know why I have a burn shaped like a tiny spork?
I'm just gonna pretend you didn't ask me that. I'll sweep that shattered moment of our friendship under the shame rug.
She could makes a perfectt roast dinner drunk but she nearly sets the kitchen alight microwaving popcorn.
We just left the shoe. An app card to Fridays. $25 to santoras and a note that said sorry we were drunk on the front doorstep of the strip club
He plays D&D and his dick should be carved out of marble. I think I'm in love.
My "lord keep me from stabbing a bitch" prayer has gotten a lot of miles today
why did you kick open the doors at church screaming whos ready to party?
Randomize
