You hook up with other guys, let him talk to other girls.
no
How crunk are you?
I'm a Tom Selleck. Zero being Tipper Gore and max being the Bush twins
Tonight must have been good, I have already had two cups of coffee but still couldn't figure out how to operate a door.
Laughlin, where retired strippers come to die.
I just realized that I'm gonna have to lower my standards if I want random head.
Things you owe me: a sober apology, $12, the removal of bbq sauce from my doorknob
there is a money trail leading from my bathroom to my living room.. the trail ends with a half eaten bag of chips with a note that says "magical chipz".. who am i?
Because Kyle had a tattoo kit at his house and I wanted one and all he could draw was a mustache or a stickman on fire
Today's goal is to get out of bed, before I take a shit. This might be hard
Pass or fail tho
He said he was Greek American and that is why my legs slammed shut. During the World Cup there are only Americans.
Someone just asked me if I was chewing red hot gum.... I'm LITERALLY SWEATING OUT FIREBALL.
& he told me that I give the best head ever.. like can I get that on a medal?
We got drunk, we had raw sex and we discussed about the showrunner change in Doctor Who, in that order.
It's the kind of dick you travel across the country for
I'm actually pretty sure the amount of alcohol I drank last night erased memories from other times in my life.
Randomize
