I just hit a new low..poured my beer in an empty coke can so I could drink in walmart.
i can't tell if you're serious or not, but 420 is gonna be pirate themed
thanks for texting me "so many asians" at 1am...
there were a lot.
we just plugged the camera up to the big screen. would you like to come see what you did last night, in high definition?
Everytime I know she spent a lot of time on her hair for one of our dates, I intentionally cum on the top of her head. That's how she knows I pay attention.
honestly, i just want you to have sex with him too so that you can fully understand my appreciation of his dick as well.
I want a coyote to ride back and forth to the bathroom because walking is getting old
being a senior sucks, I just started embracing my inner slutty college girl, and it's almost time to put her away...for like, ever. and i really like her.
If I die young bury me in satin. And make sure there's a taco bar at my funeral.
I feel like I'm in a development meeting for a Lifetime original movie.
She was on top, but I lost her at "alright, you look like predator."
Just because I'm sleeping with him doesn't mean I'm in love with him, it means that I want to have sex with someone who isn't a serial killer.
i cant hook up i'm covered in egg rolls
All I can remember from last night was eating nutella and touching myself to Weird Science.
Unless my dick prospects improve this year’s Halloween costume will include panties with “DTF” written on them and a push up bra
Randomize
