She's like the female version of the Momento guy. She keeps forgetting that I'm an asshole after we have sex.
FYI: Do not ever call any girl a thundercunt as a form of dirty talk.
Can you really blame Steve Phillips? He went to Michigan. Plowing fat girls is a 100-level course there.
Its not small because its small, Its small because it was cold outside
Well It's time to grow up anyways, right? Now that you're graduated and have a job you can't drink uncontrollably
No. Now that I'm graduated I can drink uncontrollably at nicer bars
Stop making all the ice cubes only big enough to fit in your bong. It takes like 3 trays for a glass of ice water
It was like some kind of slut recycling operation. She gave me the shirt of the last guy she slept with in exchabge for mine so I didn't have to wear the same thing to work. She's been doing it for years
this kid woke up on our hotel floor and doesnt know how he got here
on my way back.. me and that kid will be great friends
They made the rule if I caught the ball with my cleavage they would drink the entire beer pong table. I don't think they expected me to actually do it.
That's how you know it was a good night if two months later you finally realized your skirt never made it home and you found out where it was.
Totally clawed myself in the face during sex. I can die happy?
Just got road head. In broad daylight. On the interstate. During rush hour. Pushing the envelope one public bj at a time.
Honestly at least you're not debating on whether or not you need to take plan b. But I can't because I spent all my money on pizza.
Who wakes up at 9 and says "let me send a pic of my dick to my ex gf"
Dear Andy-the problem is not that I slept with your girlfriend, it's that you didn't know she's a lesbian.
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