what do you have against ST
DO NOT ABBREVIATE LIKE YOU AND STAR TREK ARE FRIENDS.
The nice sales man at 711 gave me a handful of free lighters for buying a carton of cigarettes. I guess the depressed damsel in distress look works for me.
You know, it's scary to think that someday I might buy a pregnancy test with pride, not at 2am...
she carries around a jar of peanut butter. "just in case".
You may have noticed the broken smoke detector and melted carpet. We may have accidentally lit a ping pong ball on fire...I'm sorry, but we did our best.
Just hooked up with a girl I met in line at Taco Bell. I told you leave me to do my own thing and I'll get it in
I drink way too much to have a type. Last weekend I picked up a guy who calls me "baby girl"
The fact that every guy you've slept with since you've lost virginty either have the same first or last name isn't normal.
just had a very awkward conversation with the concierge at the hotel, they threw your underwear out
Be subtle and tell lucas that he should sleep here tonight. And by subtle, i mean show him this text...
First memory of my senior year: Going into registration still drunk from last night.
Don't wake me up to tell me to cook for you because you don't like taco meat.
How do you clean puke off a stuffed bear?
You barfed off the front porch while the elderly neighbors were walking their dog. We had to convince them not to call 911.
Pics or it didn't happen.
Saw a sign that said the chorus of never gonna give you up was enough time to wash your hands. Coronavirus has Rick rolled me.
Randomize
