You cheat on me once, shame on me. You cheat on me with a white girl, it's fucking over
I've been congratulating people on facebook about their forthcoming pregnancies. I can't wait to see how this plays out
dude it was like an art museum there were boobs everywhere
You told him that your vagina was the "King Crab" of all vagina's.
He stripped down to boxers and then started flinging jello shots with a spoon into people's mouths like a catapult.
You didn't act like you were blacked out yesterday...
I didn't know
Dude. My cat just tried to bat the tampon string hanging from body. NOT COOL, SEYMOUR. NOT COOL.
Ps this homeless dude just came in hotel bar w a sword sticking out his jumpsuit trying to buy a drink w a 3rd party check
I only listened to his story about leaving the Amish community because I was hoping for a free drink
Omg that was my second thought of the morning.
First was that we had pop tarts.
You can't break up with me. I brought you to see Beyoncé.
I can still be you friend and be there for you. And sometimes get drunk and fuck you.
I am the oldest one here and I STILL feel like I need an adult. help.
He just ate a tooth whitening strip...
No I feel the same as usual. Mopey with a chance of bitch fits.
Randomize
