Con: they had to cauterize my wound twice. Pro: The docs agreed I'll be able to get really drunk tonight since I've lost so much blood.
sound pretty economical
nothing screams I HAVE A PROBLEM! like the case of miller lite sitting on top of my DUI papers in the passenger seat of my car. lol
Girl next to me just said "as a guy I used to sweat but not I don't. it's awesome" Oh. My. God.
Just because it's been in my vagina doesn't mean it's important to me
I think I might stay on campus instead of going home for thanksgiving and see how many townies I can hook up with and no one will be around to judge
I think he's on the stoner protein diet. I just saw him, at 3 am, spreading mayo on a slice of deli ham and sprinkling salt on top.
I'm sorry to inform you but your friends with benefits card has expired has the beginning of the year. If you wish to renew your card you must submit a picture of a fully erect penis. Please note that not all request for a FWB card is accepted.
THAT DOESN'T MEAN YOU SHOULD LET ME CHUG VODKA.
Dude. It's not even nine. I don't know yet.
Drink number four. Don't even tell me about its not even nine
we superglued breast forms to his chest. those aren't coming off anytime soon.
SO AWKS THEY ARE HAVING A COUPLE FIGHT AND I JUST WANT PIZZA
Honestly I volunteered because the email made it sound like it was a once in a lifetime opportunity to be a sexual spy kid.
I CLEANED MY BATHROOM FOR YOU!! betrayal
I just convinced a telemarketer I live in a tree.
What did he say?
He still asked if I want a home security system.
Is there a way to use porn to inspire him to have dirty thoughts? Like the movie Inception except with more lube and orgams?
Randomize
