Now that I've come to graduate college. I realized the only discernible skill I learned was how to roll a joint properly. go me.
Well thats $24,000 well spent.
You don't give head? I'm offended and I don't even have a cock...
he's making romantic advances towards me. and he has a pet snake. 2nd part not relevant, but interesting.
can you go into shock from having too many orgasms? i think i went into shock.
Every single item that was in my fridge is now in my hot tub. Please help
My nipple piercings are like the guardrails, that's why they feel so safe.
Wait also totally unrelated but can horses sit down?
I just tried to picture one and I don't think they can cause I can't envision it
So yeah, don't be alarmed when you come home after work to find me eating cookie dough out of a margarita glass with a knife and watching The Little Mermaid. It's been one of those days.
Just got a message from a drag queen on okcupid. I cant even catfish successfully.
So after I fell off 4 times we concluded I'm not allowed to ride him anymore.
I never thought I would be saying these words but...when did David Spade get hot?
she walked up to me at the bar, kissed me, andthen declared "I HAVEN'T SEEN YOU OR YOUR PENIS SINCE 2011."
Every guy I've ever fucked is single right now
Pray for me
I have hit the ultimate fuck buddy status. We pulled over in a construction zone to have a quickie.
I think I may have gotten way too used to using my boobs as an extra hand/pocket...almost stabbed myself in the chin bc I forgot I put my fork there
Randomize
