can "i'm close!" be our safe word(s)?
oh geez, wrong person.
That blackeyed peas song was on, so I thought that was prediciting tonight was going to be a good night. And then my garage door opner fell and hit me in the head.
I literally just copy and pasted that from another bbm convo bc I'm far too stoned to explain that again.
No I remember falling down the stairs I just don't remember it hurting.
What baked good do you think says thanks for being a great tutor, lets bang?
Struggs. It's also 90 degrees out but I'm not sure I can feel heat or cold any more. Too hungover.
Just threw up. It looks like I may have swallowed a cigarette.
The bartender charged us for drinks. Life is different.
I woke up naked on my couch playing a video game I thought I had dreamed about... oh yeah, and someone cut my hair.
Oh were you the stripper at that club last Sunday when i was trippin on acid wearing a giraffe outfit?
You were fine, but your knee injury definitely came from interpretive dancing like a gay fairy with lead wings all around the Mission St BART. Everyone thought you were on drugs.
I can't sleep. My mind keeps asking "turn down for what?" but it won't accept any of my answers.
She's in labor and I'm doing shots. Whose the real winner here?
just creeped your profile pictures and you should feel satisfied in knowing that you had great eyebrows even before people started drawing them on
Meeting him up for him to pay half of the Plan B was awkward but worth it cause I'm broke as fuck
I may have just got motorboated by a male stripper who told me I should be a porn star and not a vet student.
Randomize