we have to go try and show our tits so we can get ID-free drinks at applebees
Dude ur right that IS what a vagina looks like!
Do everybody a favor and GET LAID MORE.
I've walk of shamed through this apartment complex so many times, I think people think I live here.
she has tattoo'd to her hips "grip here" this is why they made spring break
Go ahead. I tried to back up ur budhism story but she mite be catching on
Dammit. I hoped that would work. Just tell her I'm doing my pilgrmidge to Nepal or something.
She wants to fuck me. On a tennis court. In her tennis outfit. Is ring-shopping an acceptable 3rd date activity?
Oh man I'm using the bubble wrap that wraped my new vibrator to wrap my dads fathers day gift
We hit a golf ball off Brady's ass. His dignity flew away into the night.
i really need to shower, but i don't want to take off my bra and lose my cleavage. the struggle
Lets get drunk and then you just wraps me into a present because that sounds like fun after the past 3 glasses of wine I drank
well smoking weed has become a deal breaker for me so I pretty much use "let's go smoke a blunt" as an icebreaker
I sang Seal's Kiss From a Rose to my quesadilla
He got punched in the face last night? By who? I’ll invite him to our formal. Seriously.
He made a group chat with him, his wife, & I. Is this really life!??
All I remember is being in the middle of the road puking and my bestfriend cheering me on from the passenger seat...
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