operation "beaches make me wet" is a go
I stayed up for an hour trying to make my room stop spinning and then I realized it was bc my fan was on
I had a drunk dream I lived on a puppy farm. I hope this dream repeats every night of my life.
Reason 37 booty call break ups suck: I literally could not find his house in the daytime.
Omg it was awesome. At one point she says "cum in me, I'm too old to get pregnant".
watched two friends get underages. one had a shirt on that said lets get wasted while the other said to the cop "i understand your just trying to do your job but that was dirty bro".
Just smokin in the creek with some deer, they like the smoke, I know.
There was enough sluts here for 2 threesomes to happen at the same time, and you still struck out. What did you do to piss off karma so much?
Beer, water, beer, water, beer beer beer beer beer beer beer beer beer beer beer beer so much beer
At a point I was just cumming dust last night
You can't just snapchat me a picture of a pregnancy test and then not answer your phone
Don't worry dude, I've created a sex logic bomb to stop that sort of thing.
I don't need romance, I need cheese sticks
He knocked me over backwards in my chair. I had a beer in each hand. Didn't spill a drop.
I guess I’m only into threesomes at Halloween, because I just woke up next to “Marilyn Monroe” and “Joe DiMaggio” in their condo
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