Unless you watched your mom's very literal rendition of "I touch myself" while she was wearing a bikini, your vacation wasn't as bad as mine.
Dude you spent the last hour of the night in the bathroom crying, asking someone why you will never be as smart as Mr.Feeney from boy meets world.
just had to take a 4 hour nap to write a one page paper. its obviously the week after winter break.
Ate pizza for the 3rd time today, can't decide if that's disgusting or an amazing aspect of American culture.
i just had to google what happens if your dog eats your nuva ring
I like how you try to look sexy and just end up looking like a weird boy.
Can we please just celebrate being alive this far into the school year and just get drunk?
I just had sex in a cardigan. Made me feel old. Smarter somehow, but old.
I drew a nude short fat middle aged woman today and liked it
It was honestly one of my favorite days in art class except for the 20 min she faced me and kept looking at me and we made eye contact
I woke up this morning to find a stuffed animal submerged in the toilet. I'm not entirely sure if it was the cat or Kara.
Happy meals everywhere. I think Ronald McDonald Claus visited.
Just jacked in the family restroom in the hospital while eating beef jerky and looking at reddit gone wild.
Now that mom and dad sold the camper, do you think it's okay to talk about all the sex I had in it?
Stay calm. It's a titty bar. A ring of cocaine will protect you.
You think my vibrator will be okay in the dishwasher?
Randomize
