whjeg hajt iyt
say what?
wanna hang out?
did you make any bad decisions?
many, i pretty much fell in love with a freshman...it doesn't get much better than that
Ill pay your DUI fine if you just come see me nooooowwwww
no. its 2:30am and im not going to jail for a booty call
is it mean to send ur x his condoms back because they are too small for ur new boyfriend?
I was arrested last night for attempting to flee and elude. I wasn't really trying to run from the police. I was drunk and lost in the woods. I thought it was pretty obvious when I was waving at them from my puddle of puke that I wasn't really hiding.
I woke up to him peeling the skin on my stomach from my sunburn. If he wasn't so good in bed I'd be a little freaked out.
Nothing like buying a handle and a 36 pack with a baby strapped on.
The last bar we left there was a sausage stand right outside and I apparently felt bad those guys were working that late, so I bought a $9 sausage, gave it to some drunk kid and said "I support local businesses!!" I'd say I've done my civic duty.
Ways to ruin a one night stand: the guy finds your parenting magazine on your dorm room desk.
He's hot and has an accent therefore you don't ask questions when he tells you to take your pants off.
He compared my blow job skills to finding gold treasure in a gold chest, so there's that.
According to timehop today marks the 3rd anniversary of my 1st blackout
listen I need taco bell and an orgasm within the next hour. I'll leave the order in which you provide those things up to you
I'm sure he likes you too... but your boyfriend is kind of a cockblock
You call it sex. I call it penis conditioning.
Randomize
