I chugged a bottle of robotussein and i ducking saw a blind lady on a purch sewing a shirt! And a tree portal
True or false: I did not bring home a 28 year old last night.
True? Did she teach you things?
She taught me the meaning of awkward goodbyes at 530 am.
But I don't consider them one night stands. They're auditions.
I heard from multiple reliable sources that she doesn't have a gag reflex. Of course I'm going to try to go home with her.
i ditched last period to have sex with him. i had to change into my skank clothes in the church parking lot. little kids were on the swings.
nothing about this is right.
She can't really be mad at me. I made you two sisters... Dick sisters.
This could help me cancel out guys. First 4 that text me get to stay in the loop. And the last one gets the boot. We'll do this til there's only one man standing
He told me i had to sleep under his bed. He said it would be my castle.
It's great having no responsibilities. In normal life I would be freaking the fuck out right about now. But the only worry I have from last night is where i got this shower caddy full of cookies. God I love college.
I had sex with a Dutch boy on a rock last night. Happy graduation! x x
It reeks of weed and poor life decisions in here
I didn’t eat all day. Got really drunk at a bruins game and puked in a random dunkies cup on the T
If that doesn’t scream I’m from New England, I don’t know what does
If the amount of time the owner spent looking at my tits is any indication, I’d say I can probably sleep my way to the top
i have to pee so bad and he is sleeping and idk where the bathroom or my clothes are!!!
Sorry about kicking you last night but you don’t mess with a girls margarita bucket. Ever
Randomize
