The little things make me happy. Little dicks do not.
literally have a bruise on my forehead from being over the toilet all night.
i've hooked up with him and three of his roommates and not a single one of them knows about it..think its safe to say i found the silver lining in a boys inability to communicate
your drunk ass trust falled a guy double fisting bud limes and as a result your head bounced off the patio table. So that might explain the stitches on the back of your head.
I'm fighting fire with fire. When my parents interrogate me about what I was doing last night, I tell them the truth. Every disgusting, awkward detail. I'm 23 now and they need to get used to it.
I really think that guy just walks around with tennis balls in his pocket. No dick is that big
BoomCity!!!
You don't have to text me that every time you have sex. I already heard you ring the gong.
At no time is it ever okay for my doctor to compliment my tattoos, when giving me a physical exam.......
WHAT THE FUCK KIND OF NINTENDO FILLED GLORIOUS ENCHANTING FANTASY LAND ARE YOU IN?! DUDE DID YOU MOVE TO THE 90S?!?!?!
In my drunk state I was like I ONLY HAD SEX WITH SOMEONE ELSE BECAUSE HE WAS THE HOTTEST GUY IVE EVER EVEN SEEN
did you just describe your masturbation session as "rad af??"
I couldn't find any flowers so I brought her a cat.
Well, I currently have zero fuckboys and my vibrator just broke. A fresh start to May.
The first thing he said was that my underwear smelled like Trix but then he looked up at me and whispered "Silly rabbit, vagina is for me."
Car sex in a public place. Boo ya.
Randomize
