real busy. everything is packed. thats why we ended up at the strip club
Yes, it's true. 4 fingers.
i was so high last night that i actually googled "how to get un high"
if you ask that question again our friendship is over
turns out Discover card thinks that if you spend $450 at four different liquor stores in one evening that the card "must have been stolen"
What happened to the watermelon?
You fucked it.
Yeah she is in it for the money, wait til she finds out i am broke and the sex doesnt get better
the girls im babysitting are trying to see how much jello they can swallow without chewing...their future boyfriends are lucky
and my loofah got caught on my nipple ring in the shower today. what an awful experience.
yeah he couldn't walk in a straight line and started throwing up and told the cop he just has an astigmatism
It's my diet secret . . . it's like slimfast but I call it cockfast instead.
Just made a Xanax and ginger ale smoothie. Oh Thursday you are good to me..
Hey it happens. Think of it this way- you didn't wake up in jail, your face wasn't inexplicably busted and you still have all your teeth. In this group of friends, you're on top!
He put himself in the friend zone by calling me dude all night so I blew his friend. Judge me.
I went to McDonald's this morning still half drunk with penises drawn all over my body, when my card was declined the cashier asked if I needed Jesus
I did get to watch you pee, tho. That counts as another precious moment.
Randomize
