She has 260 profile pics. In 260 she's ugly and in 255, she's making the peace sign with her hands...
You know what sound is wonderful for a hangover? Listening to the horns from the South Africans at the world cup
and then he proceeded to take what he called, a whip cream shower.
They high fived mid Eiffel Tower, then we all proceeded to talk about how our friendship is much stronger now. I'd say a successful first threesome.
Passed out in a rocking chair on her porch. Woke up to the tow truck taking away my car.
I just opened my filing cabinet at work for the first time in months. It looks just like my pantry: nothing but peanut butter and whiskey.
Next sat night Titanic party. Bring your floaties, trashy necklaces, and a large lung capacity. This ship is going downnnnnnn.
He came when he saw that my nipples were pieced
If that's all it takes to cure your hangovers then you need to drink more.
It's like a double rainbow in both sides of the sky mixed with The Jeffersons.
I'm surprised they let us keep partying at that hotel bar, that's like the 3rd time I've had to try blocking the view of him peeing off the balcony. I earn my free drinks.
you can only text me tonight if its in drake lyrics. thats the rule
bullshit you weren't drunk, you pointed at me and said my cigarette was empty
I'm about to eat a honey mustard chicken salad on the toilet while I try to shit. You really think I care about what "kind of guy he is?" The fuck out of here.
If you don't care, I don't. Good luck finding prince charming.
Just had to break it to that one guy that I can't sleep w him bc he looks identical to my brother. So how's your morning?
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