He spelled "beautiful" wrong in his text
she's naming her girl london marie
that kid will be born with a tramp stamp
My wife all of the sudden got markedly better at giving blow jobs. Should I be happy or concerned?
Shaking her cervix like it's the hottest ticket around
I can't believe you're trying to guilt me into a blow j because a tornado made you homeless.
Is it working?
I'm naked and wearing a cowbell.i love med school.
I am currently explaining what double penetration is to the bridesmaid I hooked up with at my cousin's wedding. This is my life.
I'm not about to serve this country to fuckin not have rum and cheezits for breakfast
Its bad when you wake up with a penis drawn on your face. Its worse when you find out its traced..
FONT CPME TO THE TRUK. I REPATE SONT COME TO THE TRUCK WERE GETTON FRAEKY
BUT YOU MUST FINISH YOUR QUEST
TO FIND THE HOLY GRAIL
AND GET DRUNK OFF YOUR ASS BY DRINKING OUT OF IT
I'm sure there are thousands getting dick today in the name of independence
They offered me pot brownies in 7 minutes flat. Imagine my horror when I had to be like, are those gluten free?
I have to stop at Sheetz to put my bra back on before I meet you hold on
JUST BECAUSE I ANSWER THE DOOR NAKED CARRYING A BOTTLE OF RUM DOESN'T MEAN YOU CAN STARE NEIGHBORS.
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