That's why you don't touch shit after fingering somebone
He has some good qualities. Beneath the layers of asshole and fat.
This may sound mean but have u ever just sat in class and look at some of the the people and think how disappointed their parents must be
I'm just trying to jam my tits into some coconuts and I'll be on my way
I cant prove it..but im almost positive that you were just outside my window watching me while eating out of a bag of Cheetos...
She is ok w me having sex for money. Just gotta find rich grandmas.
It's like we come as a package. Your slogan should be "be in my family, sleep with my roommate."
My slogan can be "bonding the family together. One dick at a time."
She really is something else.
Words cannot describe what though. The best way to describe her is to say it like watching a bear and a whale have sex. You don't know why it's happening or how. But it's rather funny and you can't look away.
After we had sex he made me watch a Top Gun highlight video...
I almost went home with him but then my hydroxycut fell out of my purse at the bar and I ran away
Listen. You dont know how advanced you are in yoga till you have to shave your butthole
Dude I asked him to get me beef jerky at 4 am and he actually walked to CVS to get it. CVS closes at 12 but it was the perfect opp to dip out
Do you think you could cook pancakes while i blow you?
Did that sound smart? Cuz beneath the boozy exterior beats the heart of a fucking scientist.
Aww you are cute. With your penis. And failures.
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