Through a series of unfortunate circumstances, I think I just sprayed lime juice on my vagina.
we just toasted to your mouth on alex's balls at the bar
Ughh on my way to the bathroom now... literally just puked on myself and cleaned it off with a hot dog bun... I love tailgate
i chipped my tooth tryin to cut thru her pantyhose. that stuff is bulletproof.
Haha o man how much you've grown. From beer bonging wine and wearing cargo shorts to well, beer bonging beer and wearing cargo shorts
we knew you were done when they played It's All Coming Back To Me Now by Celine Dion and you started crying
We are gonna be 90 years old in wheelchairs at the nursing home sitting at computers poking each other and waiting for the other to die so we will have the last facebook poke.
A guy wearing a hard hat while floating the river. It's the most responsible drinking we saw all day.
When I woke up my bed had been moved to the middle of my living room, a hippie was spooning me on one side and a pile of cocaine on the other, did I go through a time warp or are we still in 2012?
Ok well hopefully you're not staging an intervention for me at your place because I'm bringing beers
I should be a dude... Walking a goat on a rope is a total chick magnet.
So glad the long weekend is over so I can bring this bender to a merciful end.
woke up in the back seat of my car with a naked chick and my brother tapping on the window. yup, what a night
It's okay, big boobs are better than running.
At least your wife cheated on you. Women will feel bad for you. In a month there will boy bands that are jealous of your dick
Randomize
