and we just had intercourse last night so i'm exhausted, fucked up on adderol, emotionally broken and just pissed
We tried having a conversation with our noses.
I am so getting Plan B when we get home. Not getting knocked up by a dude with a hair piece.
After waking up today, I would like to find the Jesus preachers on campus to ask for help in asking for forgiveness to God.
so, the parking garage attendent caught us humping in the car. long story short, we have free parking whenever we want! take that abstinence.
I just tried to sell my homemade "lightning bolt stencil for pubes" on Etsy.
she's crying while babbling "all i do is win"
i love you. like a brother. a brother that i had sex with more than once.
We're making herpes jokes very loudly and hoping she notices.
Plus I'm pretty sure you said "love you" on the phone, so technically I should be putting you on some type of probation
We ended up at a lesbian bar and all my co-workers tried to get me laid. This is not how I envisioned coming out.
It's no longer hooking up, we have definitely graduated to Sport Fucking....
Honestly I volunteered because the email made it sound like it was a once in a lifetime opportunity to be a sexual spy kid.
I went to BBQ fest on Wednesday and came home wearing a different shirt, so I think I did some good damage.
I'm not totally useless... You can use me as an example of what not to do
Randomize
