We're facebook friends in real life
I've rolled joints bigger than that penis.
Its sad we have to plan out fun a month in advance. 30 sucks.
I'd be more interested in girls if they were more interested in anal.
just so you know, your brother isn't driving home wasted tonight. he is, instead, in my dorm shower screaming about rubbing his butt with my loofah; thought you would be proud
what did gay clubs do before lady gaga
I might have a beer. Just to keep this hangover on its toes.
i cant belive i got a ticket! i know what his dick tastes like!
I'm already mentally preparing myself for the fact that I'll probably be sleeping next to a toilet.
I cant believe they held hands while getting simultaneous bjs
I found a pair a guys underwear in my purse that has a British flag on it and says and I quote "British beef" what.the.fuck.
Hows cali? I thought of you as I shaved 1/4 of my legs last night.
Drunkenly, I gave him a molly instead of an aleve so A) I'm still looking for him and B) I'm not sure about his headache.
If you magically turned into a tall white gay guy, ignore this message. If not, then I'm sure someone has your fb password.
Another thing to add to the list of things not to do while I'm drunk......explain to the upstairs neighborr how to have quiet orgasams......she now thinks I want to be part of a threesome......fuck my life
Randomize
