Fucking love it maybe bedazzle some baby seals? Make them cuter? Who would club a bedazzled baby seal? Only a fucking monster.
I KNOW you don't honestly think you can pay me back in lotto tickets.
I just added her as a friend on Facebook. I met her 5 minutes ago and there are already more than 50 pics of me uploaded... from other nights.
Dude I was fucking my girl on the couch and her dog came up and licked my balls. Does that mean we just had a threesome?
the last 2 times weve had drunk sex ive had to get the morning after pill.. he's turning into a real expensive fuck buddy.
I am sweating out the vodka to make room for the whiskey tonight.
they're like a gay fantastic four
When I finally got there you were bleeding all over and you just kept saying over and over that the dog was your only friend at the party.
All I I know is that there's 2 new contacts in my phone. Drunk Backdoor and Gayass Handshake. Thanks, Jameson.
They usually take it with their boobs. It's like a horizontal motorboat
He is 30 (that's 8 years older than I am) and uses more Emojis than I do. Problem?
I think this bruise on my arm is actually an impression of your face
"Do You Wanna Build a Snowman" came on while I was riding his dick. I had to take a moment.
Googling enemas while I get a pedicure ... My life in one senence
I love you too, but sadly you're not as good at getting me out of bed as cocaine.
Randomize
