sometimes i wish i had a whole other life to spend on youtube
just got out of a noise viloation because the cop recognized my roomate as his favorite chipotle burrito roller. just another reason I love ritos
When you want to head down the cleveland on Sunday?
What time do the bars open? I dont want to remember how bad theyre gonna lose
i got excepted to unl lol
You mean "accepted".
Using Dr. Seuss quotes to ask me how badly I want your penis is not appropriate.
Sandwiches are there for you when porn isn't.
we hooked up. but it was that weird mix of getting naked and watching Balto that made it so awesome.
So I managed to get the bitch who has been copying off me all semester in History to copy the names of Pokemon towns off my test.
I just puked behind a tree outside work, then walked past my manager with puke in my hair. Man, I'm gonna miss this when I get a real job.
Basically, I'm sure one day I'll look back on this part of my life and be ashamed....
In local news, attempts to hide phone from extremely drunk self prove unsuccessful for Dallas woman.
Got too starbucks. 3out of the 4 girls working i have ducked and haven't ever called. My coffee has dick written on it. It may contain spit by pumpkin lattes are only once a year
This is the third time this year I've whored myself for a Netflix login. If this guy changes his password, I'm gonna fucking give up.
Or maybe pay for Netflix?
I'm not that desperate yet.
Is it illegal to hookup with your fathers god child?
Drunk me just want to text sober me for saving that half rack of ribs I loves you
Randomize
