Sooo i definitely have a major burn on my chin from kenny's ...stubble from making out for hours while coked up. Pure class.
why did i make a hit list last night containing only McDonalds?
you tried to order a magarita mcflurry and when they said they didnt make those you tried to call 911
Why did u sent me a picture of a dead horse?
i could hear you having sex and was jealous, wanted to kill the mood
i either just walked in on pete wacking off to webmd or he was checking his dick for herpes
We told the pizza man that the door was most likely unlocked, he could leave the pizza on the counter and give himself 20%. He did it-I'm never moving out of Aspen.
I hit him with a car. Nothing says I hate you more than backing into someone with a fucking car.
Remember middle school health class where we used to say that when we lost our vcards we would be on the pill, using a condom, and have had our partners tested first? We were so optimistic.
There are work activities and non work activities and dunking my head in a bucket of ice water pulling it out and shotguning a beer is certainly not a work activity
the lady at the gas station just thanked me for wearing clothes this time... i am so confused
the last thing i remember was the norwegian kid tacking a bag of wine to the ceiling, then boom! shower drain.
So I just went to 3 different stores because there is no way I can walk out of one store with this many reeses and still have my pride.
My morning started with my mom giving me the number for a substance abuse councellor. How's your day going?
I wish I could send you one of those donuts I had. Like teleport it to you. Because it would change your life
I would really like it if you guys got out of my bush
Well, for starters, you were growling and slurping beer from a puddle on the carpet. Let's all hope that was beer...
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