he was going down on me when he saw the warts...nevertheless he told me he had to pick his sister up from school. why does this keep happening to me???
i study at coffee shops because all these damn artsy people motivate me to work towards a real job.
I wish that vaginas would just grow when you're ready for sex. Like when you dont need your vagina its not there, but when you need it...BAM its there. then no one would see it when you get drunk
yeah...or you could just stop doing cartwheels in skirts
So the coke mirror was perfectly angeled at my face right when i woke up this morning. I now know how I'd look on intervention.
Also, the zoloft kicked in and I can't get an erection anymore. So I'm depressed.
In case you were wondering, transporting lube in a ziploc bag is just as bad of an idea as it sounds.
He just laughed at his drink laid on the floor and crawled to the bathroom
Think I pulled my pelvic muscle.
I think I pulled my ashamed of myself muscle.
please tell me you're in jail and for some reason they have wifi
I totally left my shirt at your house. Also I think I high fived your cactus last night
Do you have paint?
Paint? I wish
OMG WHAT ARE YOU DOING
The most humiliating part was that I farted while he was tasing me.
I told myself I'd stop after three shots of fireball. Haha HA hA.
Only if I get to be Gritty
How would you be Gritty for a fantasy hockey league?
Don't worry about it.
I'm drinking because I just started here and every single person I work with wants to quit and when I asked a coworker how she's doing she literally just started crying.
Randomize