I just fell asleep with a sandwich in my mouth at Cosi..people definitely saw
No see this is how It goes: guys will fuck virgin girls. But girls don't really want to fuck virgin guys. So you're good have no fear.
so i made out with some dude last night at the bar. and some girl just stood there and watched. i felt bad so i made out with her too. She looked like she felt left out.
I had fun. Till he melissa etheridged my ass and came to my window.
Don't blame the cocaine for your eating disorder.
I'm pregaming for my hair cut. Working two jobs definately taught me how to use my time wisely...
Unless you have figured out how to blow me through the phone don't drunk dial me.
All I remember is this kid kept saying that he has a dream that white kids and black kids can take shots together as one, and just we'd keep drinking to that.
Because her vagina is one of those illusive black holes that leads to a parallel universe where he is king and the sea is made of beer! That is why they are together!
Jesus these cramps...it's like every potential fetus I swallowed last night is personally punching me in the uterus
I'm cutting her off I can't have my good name soiled with these kinds of shenanigans
Shit is preposterous
I can check masterbating in China off the bucket list.
I'm intrigued by how his mouth tasted the same as his dick.
is it fun? or sober?
She climbed in my window blew me and left. She's in my phone as the blow job fairy
Randomize
