It's finally official that I am from Oklahoma. I'm currently sleeping with my ex-fling's brother.
but there are maragaritas for $3 so that was all i needed to hear
hey sry I lost all my numbers who is this?
pat the guy you slept with
still need a last name
I think I am the only girl in the world who would be proud of these scars from rug burn.
So last week was the 4th time a girl cried after sex. I'm seriously doing something wrong
You stood next to him taking HUGE gasps of air in an attempt to second hand smoke his cig because you didn't have one...
Sup man, did you have a 3way this month if so it would be 3 for 3 for the house
all I'm saying is that my epic blow jobs have made grown professional football players cry in ecstasy
I saved him in my phone as "Well-Hung Burrito Savior." I love Taco Tuesday.
gay sex achievement: unlocked
what
you told me you were going out for groceries!!
Stop acting like the Lucky Charms you're feeding people is actually ecstasy.
I'm really just disappointed in myself for having sex with a musical theater major
I just got a text giving me an hour window for when my vibrator is gonna be delivered. If that's not awesome customer service, I don't know what is.
Dude there's ten thousand dollars worth of damage to the kids house and three thousand in stolen property and his dog is missing he is pissed
If I give him back his dog do you think he'll invite me to the next party
woke up hungover this morning lying in a water raft covered in water.. i dont know if i should consider this good or bad
Randomize
