If I go to jail what happens to my debt?
You dont have to pay it.
I'm going to jail.
I don't call you at 3 in the morning to start a fucking relationship.
Boys can't fool me. I know "want to come up and meet my dogs?" is just a nondirect way of saying "come up and meet my penis".
The National Anthem was on so I had to have a beer
When you get home we need to compare our schedules and set up masturbation slots. I'm scares of you walking in on me. Again.
Please find an outlet that isn't stripping or getting drunk and arrested
Bering your kids um. Abiout tol. Throw up
Not sure if it's my shorts, hat, shoes, hair or soul but one of the above just got me drunk again from the glorious aroma of Keystone Light.
Two shots of gin says this is gonna be a sloppy lab write up.
I believe in weed hangovers. To say the least.
Do you think if 10 year old us knew that we would be passing out in a McDonalds after a hefty night of drinking, and 23 McChickens, they'd change anything?
You walked up to a random girl on the street and asked her for a bite of her pizza...
Adderal can only make me focus so much. Your ass is stronger than my medicine. Congratulations.
...I just melted into my bed. I am one with the bed. I am 600 thread count.
I'm not wearing pants, but I'm wearing a tiara.
Randomize
