My first STD was from a foam party
just put cider in my bong. gotta love fall
Wine + wine + wine + wine + bud light = puke.
doing a bong hit while wearing crest white strips...not such a great idea...
Sending me a thank you card for letting you fuck my sister was completely inappropriate
I just celebrated my ex boyfriends birthday by having more sex than he will today.
Do you know how to give stiches?
I do not...this text concerns me
Can't even walk I haven't tried talking but I probably can't do that either
Everyone was in jail by 10:30. I'd say it was a successful bachelor party.
All's fair in love and war. and tinder.
You may have gone on a date, but I ate chicken nuggets shaped like dinosaurs for dinner tonight. I think we both know who the real winner is here.
That's a beautiful sentiment.
Would it be inappropriate to send a friend request to the sheriff that fingerprinted me last night???
I have standards. Maybe not when it comes to men.. but definitely when it comes to sex
Well I only snuggle him I don't hump him. That's rude.
What are you bringing to class tomorrow?
sorrow
Randomize
