"Monday" is guna come over...
but its Thursday?
yeah, but she cant make it.Monday can...so there ya go
There's a girl in here wearing a kaballah bracelet and a miley Cyrus tshirt. consider her judged.
He just refered to Steak and Shake as "a good place for couples". I will definitely not be shacking tonight.
It was literally me in an evening gown and him in a tux with six bottles of Vodka at Jons.
And this was for your brother's Christening?
Judging by the amount of alcohol multiplied by the amount of her exes here, tonight will be ending in tears.
His dad was on the tv delivering the local 11 o' clock news while we were having sex
You told the bartender at least five times that you were naming your son "Jagermeister" but you would use the bartender's name "Fernando" as his middle name. You were drunk.
Speaking of, what are you doing next weekend? I'm going to a rope bondage seminar and may need a partner if my date bails.
My car has a permanent smell of sex to it now.
So, I'm either with my future life partner or my future life taker. And his brother. lol. I'll let you know when I get home alive.
High. As. Fuck. I thought the kid next to me didn't have an arm for like 2 hours.
Hahahaha I'm glad you woke me up with this text.
WHY DOES MY BOYFRIEND'S BROTHER HAVE TO BE SO FUCKING HOT
Couch. On fire.
I would really like it if you guys got out of my bush
Fine I’ll come with you but you better tell that guy to wear some longer shorts because the second I see a rogue nut I’m gone
Randomize
