Your tits are I can't wait for
It's more exciting when they aren't single....and even better when you have to pretend that you just slept with their roommate while trying to do the walk a shame as their girlfriend comes marching into the apt.
Im not the least bit jealous of the life you lead.
Her vagina smelled like hockey gear.
And then he asked the cop "shall i shut off the lady gaga?" as he was being frisked.
He walked me home last night across campus while i fed him pasta out of a solo cup at 3 am.
I had to hold off a girl who was trying to check your pulse while you were passed out. She kept screaming that she was a nursing major and needed to make sure you were alive.
So he might be the smartest man alive. He had the stripper pick him up taco bell on the way to the room for an extra 50 bucks.
Dancing naked to Celine dion - im alive. No better way to start the day
She frightens me and turns me on at the same time. She's a keeper
Restraining order pending?
I woke up tied to my bed while she was in the corner staring at me while eating cereal. Interesting night!
he had a beard, sexy nerd glasses and kept referring to his penis as 'this dick' its like jesus was saving my perfect match for my prime
Hooked up with a guy dressed as Miss Frizzle last night... Asked if I could ride his Magic School Bus
I did something very bad. More specifically, my boss.
After 2 minutes he came and said, "thanks for everything". I can't wait to hear what he says next time when I do more than just lay there.
I'm pretty sure I smell like alcoholism and shame. And it's not a pretty scent.
Randomize
