Help. Asians are flirting in front of me(773): They speak asian
On blowjobs: "If you decide to go there, you finish the job. No complaining." I don't care if it sounds like she's talking about Iraq, I'm in love.
So i just got diagnosed with swine flu. im at walgreens looking like shit and this guy keeps staring at me. Im so gonna cough in his face.
well, dont
I didnt. i just coughed then looked at him menacingly. he got it.
U know u have sex too much when u have lube in ur rolliball on ur blackberry
You made me wash my hair in the kitchen sink while eating bay leaves
Being at this bar with grandma is a real cockblocker
For sure. Gotta go. Building an igloo.
how the hell were we supposed to out run the cops in a bus?
Only three months past my 21st and I'm done. So many life lessons in so little time.
My mom just added me on Facebook... She has one like and it's Will Smith
I just wrote a love letter to my weed and texted it to my cousin. I can't say it any differently. It happened.
This is the drunkest I've ever been at a chili's
If I had feelings, you would have hurt them.
To be honest. I have two poptarts in my jacket pockets. No one knows. I am pro stealth.
I fucking hate them. They came over and sat on me and made out. On top of me. Who the fuck does that?
Randomize
