actually, I'm a sock model
My parents took my cat for a ride in the car. Second weekend in a row. They think its fun. Dear God
Hm. I declare blue a flavor.
it makes it look bigger when i shave, i hope its not the same for a girl
I know now the amount of smoke it takes to set off the fire alarm....no longer worried about using the bong...not even close
If a hot cougar texts u and says "back massage, blow job".... you show the fuck up.
We have 24 days left before I leave for college and 21 condoms left in the stockpile. Are you up for the challenge?
It was his birthday and he drunkenly offered me Portillo's and diamonds in exchange for a snap chat of my boobs. Even sober it seemed like a good idea at 3 in the morning.
Remember that time you puked in a beer pong cup while someone else was playing?
that happened
I just masturbated in the tanning bed stoned. Best decision of my life
I'm not even 100% sure what it is, but if it involves Thor and Doritos, I'm in
rock bottom is drinking straight vodka from a protein shaker, singing one direction and crying alone in your room. exams.
Being an adult can't be all bad. I just took a vacation day solely to sit around and get stoned
Listen, I just paid for a hotel room, so I didn't have to have sex in his car. I'm adulting successfully.
Got pulled over today for going 90 in a 40 zone with my leg out of the window. Still got out of the ticket. I'm getting way too good at this. Wanna trade bodies so we can see if it's my boobs or my charm?
Randomize