To put it in a frame of reference with which you're familiar, it was like making out with a golden retriever.
Seriously, in what other class can the final major discussion be what bar you're going to with your prof?
And dont tell me its his job to cockblock me just because he's my boyfriend.
I never knew so many sexual things could be done while wearing footie pajamas
The woman in the hospital bed next to me just got diagnosed with flea bites on her vag.
Whaaaaaat? No way.
Now a discussion of pigs vs. dog as carrier.
I think your dick broke my retainer, I normally wouldnt care but my orthodontist died and I don't want my first appt to be blow job broken retainer with a new ortho.
S.O.S. he's talking about horses and breast feeding.
I guess I just stopped wanting to rip his balls out and started being okay with him being alive. that's a typical feeling for exes right?
I am disappointed by everyone's lack of ability to dance on a stripper pole:(
I also woke up on my floor. Naked. On a pile of clothes. With my head in the trash can. And a sheet over me.
We're eating jello shots in the library. I love the day after Valentine's
We might as well just set our livers out to sea on burning ships
I got copblocked.
What?
Cockblocked. By a cop. Copblocked.
Have u seen my vagina and my gorilla costume? Im in need of it.
Oh man. I threw up in the first cab. Got kicked out. Roamed somewhere for awhile. Fell asleep in the back if the second cab. Woke up in my underwear on the living room floor with a frozen pizza (thawed) laying next to me
Randomize
