I cant video chat with you tonight, my parents are home
r u implying that im some kind of v-chat prostitution whore?
I took an adderall but just ended up meticulously arranging my farmville for hours
I mean I knew we were putting on quite a show but I didnt realize HOW good until I woke up and 4 people were passed out with their ears to the bedroom door.
He passed out on the floor and you kept hitting him in the dick and screaming "hammer of justice".
Saddest moment ever is discovering when your cat no longer wants to get high with you.
Alosmot hir two of of mt mailanoxwa
Oh Jesus.
Just stabbed myself in the face trying to lick melted cheese off a kitchen knife.
Standing in my kitchen eating choc chip cookie batter from the bowl. As sad as it is, I kinda like the places bad breakups take me.
I was to tired to jerk him off, so he made me hold it while he thrusted into my hand.
Bone him for me, BONE HIM TWICE FOR ME.
You suck at answering, but you did manage to avoid a fun conversation about hemorrhoids. So maybe you're great at answering.
Yeah well, last time I said I wasn't having a big night I was being strangled in somebody's spare bed
Thank god for Taco Bell keeping you out of jail
I was pretty pissed in the morning when I realized he had fucked the fake tattoo right off my chest.
I know you would. And one day, we'll have a moment where i'll verbally assault a stranger for you.
Randomize
