I didn't have a rubber, but my dick had a date with a clorox wipe after we finished. I think I'm in the clear.
I just realized his fb pic was taken in a public bathroom.
She checked into foursquare right as she left work so he would think she was there late and not on some other guy's dick
I have to say for barely passing high school, that girl is a genius.
It hit me after I slept with his best friends and brother, that maybe I took it a bit far
Also, that dude projectile vomiting all over the living room was the perfect distraction for me to swipe the booze and run.
it wasnt a pity fuck per say. i wasnt attracted to her, but still thought 'that looks like a fun ride'
When I picked you up, you were drinking Maker's Mark out of the bottle with a crazy straw.
Just had an epiphany about how to drink more effectively in the shower. While walking across campus carrying a Franzia bag like Santa
He was on my bed looking at me like a sacrifice to the gods of gay sex and he's definitely a bottom. Like Jesus Christ a really, really great ass of a bottom.
I should've realized you were drunk when you began to point at my crotch while yelling "Funland!!!"
My soul is telling me that I need to take this exam naked.
"We hooked up and in the morning he emailed me his mix tape"
Shut the fuck up! I can hear you having sex over Pirates of the Caribbean you moaning whore.
Your not drunk until you have to grab on to the grass to keep from falling off the earth.
I stole $10 from the guy I hooked up with last night.Not sure why but it was definitely more satisfying.
Randomize
