afterwards we were spooning and he said he wished he was a kangaroo so he cold put me in his pouch and keep me forever. I left as soon as he was asleep.
No, don't worry. We're not going to get THAT arrested.
All I had with a note saying that my shoes are in the ceiling and good luck.
Going home with an argentinian named sulvio. Ill let you know how it goes.
Seriously why is the deadbolt locked. This is the second time I'm having to sleep on the porch using my boots as my pillow. I can't wait till the next time your drunk.
Shhh, I'm sleeping. Just let it happen Jess.
Driving by his house every hour is not stalking, it's a reconnaissance mission... How else can I confront him
The last thing I remember was paying off her younger brother not to judge me, then puking on his shoes.
He was running late for work this morning, so I helped him out by finding a matching pair of black socks. And I hated it. So I'm currently drinking and reminding myself of the reasons I will never get married.
We let him drunkenly pack his own bags without checking them. Yet no one was surprised when the TSA girl pulled a 12 pack out of his carry on.
There's no winning that game with me. It's either "Can I walk home at the end of the night," or "am I throwing up trying to sleep in the front yard." Rules are irrelevant.
Well if your hearts not big enough, your penis certainly is. Just have a threesome
Waffles and pussy, what else is there?
lets go to sea world and you can just hit on every guy in a wetsuit until you get lucky
So you thought it was a good idea to make plans for the same time same place with the guy you were sort of dating AND his best friend you slept with?
like honestly, the vodka had to go somewhere, and your moms soap dispenser just seemed right at the time..
Randomize
