Strip flip cup NEVER equals good idea
After she threw up on my floor she started singing "this is why I'm hot."
fter the third song from an iPod commercial played I realized how much that frat sucked.
yeah he couldn't walk in a straight line and started throwing up and told the cop he just has an astigmatism
Btw, I'm creating an event on fb to celebrate the one yr anniversary since we went to jail.
if I could send you my dick right now I would. that's how good of a friend I am.
I couldn't tell you were laughing too hard
Dude I thought I set my hair on fire. I wasn't laughing I was screaming.
it was like vegas minus all of the penis and death threats
Also the bouncer Straight up told me my id was shitty and I should get a new one. But he let me in anyways because #boobz
maybe if I avoid him long enough we could skip the talking part of "we need to talk"
We ended up on their roof with our pants around our ankles shotgunning beers at one point.
Never thought an ATM max withdrawal could be such a good thing...
I accidentally sent my dad a very explicit Star Wars fanfiction and he replied with "That was great!"
Shit facedness and cuddling are what you have to look forward to this evening.
Did I tell you about the swingers? Because I think they're trying to trap me.
Randomize
