butt sex is not good for yourself don't do it
Thanks?
guess who came home with a hottie last night
Def drugged
I can't remember last night. I must have yelled at your girlfriend til she cried again.
Yup.
you just love her because she lets you bang her with fruits and veggies!
I was chocking and even did the sign for it..And you continued to just laugh
I decided tomorrow is going to be great day wether my period likes it or not
You don't have a penis so I'm not texting you at this hour. This is penis texting hour only.
Let me be the 15% helpful, 85% useless as shit angel on your shoulder.
We were pulling the glow sticks off of him and he just kept yelling, "my bones! You're taking my bones!" and asking me if I was on the crew team
At least one of us had a weekend full of money and dick
You kept trying to make people drink "salsa-ritas." But all you did was dump tequila in a half full jar of salsa, and shove it in people's faces while shouting at them.
Whats proper etiquette for apologizing to your wife for being so drunk you stood up and pissed on the bedroom floor next to the bed?
Nothing like coming home and finding the nearly full bottle of fireball you forgot you had stashed before your trip
It's the little things
I feel like dick that good should always be within a five kilometre radius of me.
He's gonna turn my vagina into the Sahara desert
Randomize